He does like to stop by hospitals dressed as Cap. Get yourself in the kids ward!
- Status
Hope everything goes smoothly Clara!
Screen Legend
Legendary
Good luck with your surgery, Clara! 
Good luck Clara!!
Thanks guys
Screen Legend
Legendary
Just to let you all know, I'll be heading for the cottage on Saturday for a week. Unfortunately, they don't have any internet there so I'll do my best to tie up any loose ends with my characters before I leave. I don't want to keep anybody else from posting, but I also don't want to be completely left in the dust either. LOL.
I'm leaving Thursday on vacation and won't be back until the following Saturday. I'm not sure what the internet situation will be so feel free to carry my characters if needed.
So, I don’t want to dictate anyone’s writing or anything, and I love organic story-telling, but I was brainstorming some ideas for my characters and I started thinking some loose framework might help set up the next storyline. Our first go at the Hellfire/Alternate Timeline was a real success, I think. We just had a basic premise and ran with it, and everyone really did awesome with their characters. Now that we have them all established, I think it would do some good to shape the direction of the narrative. I’m going to share what I’ve been thinking of, and ask that all of you provide the same kind of input for your characters in turn.
No need to flesh out the details, but I think if we all provide a basic premise for each character, we can round-table discuss some structural things. I don’t want to decide outcomes, I’d enjoy letting the story evolve on its own. That being said, I would also like to have an idea of the tapestry ahead.
So you’ll see below that I just have a very basic goal for each character arc. I’ve grouped them by court, and I think that helps, because the inner court struggles kind of drive the larger club dynamic. I also noted what happened with each court and posed a question. It’s simply a suggestion for future developments, a starting point, not a set main plot.
Following the Weekend (which I’d still like to wrap up):
White Court
The conflict between King and Queen has destabilized the Court. Will there be reconciliation, or a power struggle?
Cameron: Bringing Elena and his daughter to Hellfire, Figuring out his career path now that MysTech belongs to his mother. Also, his mother and Stavros shit.
Haleigh: Adapting her goals (also: babies)
Erika: Trying to keep the peace between Haleigh and Cameron and keeping the white court strong (also dealing with Mommy and her new step daddy).
Heidi: Choosing a side
Zach: Staying as Rook or Leaving for Europe?
Gia: Dealing with business issues and attempting to recover her standing at Hellfire
Supporting Characters affecting the Court subplots
Elena: Cameron’s ex-fiancée
Carolina: Cameron’s firstborn daughter
Kelly: Cameron’s mother
The Twins: Haleigh’s unborn children
Verdict: Haleigh’s lawyer
Sawbones: Hellfire’s Resident Physician
Camille: Heidi’s former Queen
Adriana: A ghost from Gia’s past*
Red Court
Alek and Ash have found a new balance, after striking a mutually beneficial deal. But will it hold?
Alek:
Ashley: Vacation
Arthur: Vacation
Jack: Taking action to solve his problems
Calder:
Black Court
With a newly crowned King and a newly appointed Rook, the Black Court is adjusting to a fundamental restructuring. Will they rise, strong and united, or will their individual struggles tear the whole Court apart?
John: Vacation
Ava: Vacation
Amanda: Taking on the role of The Black Princess - staying put to keep an eye on The White & Red Courts.
Ben: Feeling freedom with Cass leaving, pursuing things with Amanda.
Daniel: Figuring out his spot in American Hellfire. Strengthening the Black Court's ties while key people are away.
No need to flesh out the details, but I think if we all provide a basic premise for each character, we can round-table discuss some structural things. I don’t want to decide outcomes, I’d enjoy letting the story evolve on its own. That being said, I would also like to have an idea of the tapestry ahead.
So you’ll see below that I just have a very basic goal for each character arc. I’ve grouped them by court, and I think that helps, because the inner court struggles kind of drive the larger club dynamic. I also noted what happened with each court and posed a question. It’s simply a suggestion for future developments, a starting point, not a set main plot.
Following the Weekend (which I’d still like to wrap up):
White Court
The conflict between King and Queen has destabilized the Court. Will there be reconciliation, or a power struggle?
Cameron: Bringing Elena and his daughter to Hellfire, Figuring out his career path now that MysTech belongs to his mother. Also, his mother and Stavros shit.
Haleigh: Adapting her goals (also: babies)
Erika: Trying to keep the peace between Haleigh and Cameron and keeping the white court strong (also dealing with Mommy and her new step daddy).
Heidi: Choosing a side
Zach: Staying as Rook or Leaving for Europe?
Gia: Dealing with business issues and attempting to recover her standing at Hellfire
Supporting Characters affecting the Court subplots
Elena: Cameron’s ex-fiancée
Carolina: Cameron’s firstborn daughter
Kelly: Cameron’s mother
The Twins: Haleigh’s unborn children
Verdict: Haleigh’s lawyer
Sawbones: Hellfire’s Resident Physician
Camille: Heidi’s former Queen
Adriana: A ghost from Gia’s past*
Red Court
Alek and Ash have found a new balance, after striking a mutually beneficial deal. But will it hold?
Alek:
Ashley: Vacation
Arthur: Vacation
Jack: Taking action to solve his problems
Calder:
Black Court
With a newly crowned King and a newly appointed Rook, the Black Court is adjusting to a fundamental restructuring. Will they rise, strong and united, or will their individual struggles tear the whole Court apart?
John: Vacation
Ava: Vacation
Amanda: Taking on the role of The Black Princess - staying put to keep an eye on The White & Red Courts.
Ben: Feeling freedom with Cass leaving, pursuing things with Amanda.
Daniel: Figuring out his spot in American Hellfire. Strengthening the Black Court's ties while key people are away.
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Screen Legend
Legendary
This is a really hard post for me to write because I don’t know who to trust with this.
That said...I feel like that this story was not successful. Not for me, anyway. I didn’t like the direction my characters were going in, I didn’t like how they were coming across, and, most of all, I didn’t like feeling isolated and alienated from the rest of you.
I just want to apologize for wanting Cass to be Black Princess at the beginning of the story because I didn’t know that I would feel like I was punished for it every step of the way. If I had known, and the main reason I wanted her to be Black Princess weas because it would’ve given me a chance to work with Sam – somebody I never really worked with before, I never would’ve spoken up about it. I would’ve just sat quietly in my corner like I have always done.
I remember I was genuinely asking for some help at one point in the shout box and all I got back was, what may have been an innocent comment, but in my mind I perceived it to be a snide comment. I felt even more isolated and even more alone than I felt already that I felt like I couldn’t go to anyone with my struggles and feelings of failure. That’s NOT good.
It got so bad for me that I felt shut out of everything and that no matter what I did, I was just shut down so yeah; I WAS struggling for a long while. Even now, I’m ambivalent about starting it up again I’m sorry to say.
I get it. You guys have been friends for like thousands of years before I came along. I love that; I even admire that. I wish I had friendships like that. Still, I’ve been a member here since August 2011 and I’ve been RPing with youu almost as long and yet...I still feel like an outsider looking in and I don’t even know why. I also feel like that you all have ideas about your characters involving your characters and then...I’m left out in the cold. Perhaps it’s all in my head, but that’s how I feel.
A game is supposed to be fun right? If somebody isn’t having fun then there’s something wrong. Well I haven’t been having fun for a LONG time. Even now I’m pretty ambivalent to starting this story up again, I'm sorry to say.
Personally, I’m hoping that there can be a spin-off thread about Hellfire Europe because I have LOTS of ideas about that but I don’t want to share them if I would just get shut down.
Guys, please don’t shut me out. If you see me struggle, I would love it if any one of you came alongside me and ask me if everything’s okay. I WANT to be able to go to any one of you if I’m struggling with something and just be like, “I need help with this. Can you help me?” I DON’T want to feel so isolated from you all that I start to distance myself from you and the game because I’m feeling overwhelmed about something. Be patient with me. I may not have mastered the art of role playing yet but I am learning from my mistakes. I really am trying to find my footing.
That said...I feel like that this story was not successful. Not for me, anyway. I didn’t like the direction my characters were going in, I didn’t like how they were coming across, and, most of all, I didn’t like feeling isolated and alienated from the rest of you.
I just want to apologize for wanting Cass to be Black Princess at the beginning of the story because I didn’t know that I would feel like I was punished for it every step of the way. If I had known, and the main reason I wanted her to be Black Princess weas because it would’ve given me a chance to work with Sam – somebody I never really worked with before, I never would’ve spoken up about it. I would’ve just sat quietly in my corner like I have always done.
I remember I was genuinely asking for some help at one point in the shout box and all I got back was, what may have been an innocent comment, but in my mind I perceived it to be a snide comment. I felt even more isolated and even more alone than I felt already that I felt like I couldn’t go to anyone with my struggles and feelings of failure. That’s NOT good.
It got so bad for me that I felt shut out of everything and that no matter what I did, I was just shut down so yeah; I WAS struggling for a long while. Even now, I’m ambivalent about starting it up again I’m sorry to say.
I get it. You guys have been friends for like thousands of years before I came along. I love that; I even admire that. I wish I had friendships like that. Still, I’ve been a member here since August 2011 and I’ve been RPing with youu almost as long and yet...I still feel like an outsider looking in and I don’t even know why. I also feel like that you all have ideas about your characters involving your characters and then...I’m left out in the cold. Perhaps it’s all in my head, but that’s how I feel.
A game is supposed to be fun right? If somebody isn’t having fun then there’s something wrong. Well I haven’t been having fun for a LONG time. Even now I’m pretty ambivalent to starting this story up again, I'm sorry to say.
Personally, I’m hoping that there can be a spin-off thread about Hellfire Europe because I have LOTS of ideas about that but I don’t want to share them if I would just get shut down.
Guys, please don’t shut me out. If you see me struggle, I would love it if any one of you came alongside me and ask me if everything’s okay. I WANT to be able to go to any one of you if I’m struggling with something and just be like, “I need help with this. Can you help me?” I DON’T want to feel so isolated from you all that I start to distance myself from you and the game because I’m feeling overwhelmed about something. Be patient with me. I may not have mastered the art of role playing yet but I am learning from my mistakes. I really am trying to find my footing.
Okay. First of all, wow. I appreciate your honesty, because that took some absolute valor to put it all out here like this.
So I will reciprocate here, in all honesty, and I apologize in advance if it comes across brutally.
You are correct, the rest of us have been friends for a long time, and we’ve been doing this whole Six Universe thing a long time together. And you are the new person, and the outsider. But we didn’t all start at the same time, either. We grew, as a group, one person at a time, and each of us independently went through the experience you are having now. But I only acknowledge that fact to explain this: We do not shun newbies, and we are not excluding you because you are not ‘one of us’.
When I came back from my last absence and found you were here, I thought ‘oh cool, new player! New character! New dynamics! New ideas!’ And so I tried to find ways for my main character (Haleigh) in the main story (six proper) to have something to do with Cass. And we got that little subplot, which I liked and would have continued to explore. And I would have come up with ways to do that with other characters, or been open to any ideas you might have suggested.
And when we moved to the Hellfire (main) storyline, I realized you weren’t going to have anything to do, and I messaged Farrah privately one night. I suggested having you pick up Gia so you’d have a character to RP while we were all at Hellfire, because I felt bad thinking you might be left out.
But girl, hard truth? I put a lot of time and effort and research into creating Gia, and I feel like you are just all over the place with her. I don’t know if Farrah and I didn’t adequately convey the plan with her or if you just don’t want to play her or what, but it’s very frustrating for me. And to read what you just wrote, about how you felt ostracized and didn’t like the direction of your characters, it’s all the more frustrating, because you COULD have messaged me.
I don’t know if you realize this, but the rest of us do that on a regular basis. I bounce almost all my ideas off at least one other person in the group. I usually talk to the writer who would be most affected by what I’m trying to do. I don’t want to torpedo everyone else just to get my way for my characters. There’s a lot of things we do where only one or two people know what is coming, and the rest of us just react. That keeps it fun and adventurous. But a little coordinating goes a long way.
I will give you an example. In the Hellfire (alternate) story, I did a backstory reveal for Haleigh to flesh out her relationship with Malice. I wanted to explore how things might be different if Haleigh had been raised by Malice all along. And I also wanted a subtle Black Widow nod somewhere, So the reveal with the blackmail and sleeping with various Hellfire father figures came about. But BEFORE I posted that, I messaged Sam and Brandon. They were both going to be affected by the reveal from a writer stand point.
So they got a sneak peak at the reveal, essentially, but more importantly, I respected their individual veto power. I had already decided that Zach’s dad was involved, but before I included the rest, I asked Sam and Brandon if it was cool with them. Brandon got a chance to veto Cameron’s dad from the group (since it conflicts with what he wants for his backstory), but approved Ben’s dad for the plot. Sam Approved Stavros and got a chance to adapt her own characters ahead of time, which helped inform her on how to play Ava off Haleigh in their scenes.
But Clara didn’t know ahead of time, so the reaction we get from Alek is totally organic. And You only knew that Haleigh was going to give Gia more info, so Gia’s response is also natural. I didn’t tell you all the details beforehand because Count Nefaria is still in my character Rolodex, so to speak. I may still bring him on Panel at some point. But it’s still cool because I personally have no idea how Gia or Alek will react, which makes it fun for me too.
And then right after that you were like ‘well I got an idea’ and then posted that gang rape reveal. And the rest of us were like “what the fuck??”, because a reveal like that fundamentally altered the backstory of the entire club, and not a single one of us was consulted by you. It would have made a lot of characters complicit in the ordeal, and nobody got to veto it. So I don’t want to speak for others, but I know I wasn’t the only one frustrated by that.
And I was doubly dismayed because you did that on the heels of something I had just revealed with Haleigh, and that was some serious upstaging, it felt like. Haleigh’s reveal is supposed to be disturbing but it’s not just shock value. It was multi-purpose for character development and themes and also established Haleigh/Zach dynamic for the alternate timeline.
If you’re still reading, bless your heart. There’s more and I promise I’m trying to be succinct.
Sometimes your characters come across as combative without cause. Like Cass and Gia in the beginning just hated everyone. Every interaction was overly antagonistic, and they were actively against the new order. That’s fine, except everyone else will react to that negatively. If you’d bounced that idea off someone, we could’ve pointed out the issues Gia and Cass would both face.
Please understand that if the characters don’t get along, that doesn’t mean we don’t get along. Some characters will gravitate towards each other, while others are natural foils or opponents. I specifically create characters for contrast. Don’t take it personally if your character gets opposed or argued with or insulted. It is NOT Player versus Player. It’s character versus character. Sometimes a discussion doesn’t go the way you expect. It happens for me all the time, and it’s usually for the better in the long run.
Also, there’s a slow burn, and then there’s an explosion. Both are good in their own merit. Every scene doesn’t need to be a shouting match or a fist fight. Every clash doesn’t need to be a victory. Character development is an ongoing process. Interactions must be give and take. Take Haleigh and Cameron for example. You think I went into the story knowing they would end up here? Nope. The existence of Elena and Carolina was a complete surprise to me. You think we planned the Haleigh/Alek stuff? Nope. We put the characters in scenes together, and they organically arrived where they are.
You are still learning how to RP with us and that’s okay. We can work with that. But you have to work with us. Bounce your ideas off of others before you post them. We are not trying to control what you do. But if you want to be part of the group, start being part of the group!
If you refer back to my post about the next arc, you’ll see I left blanks for all the characters that don’t belong to me. That’s so everyone else can contribute and we can work together to come up with a direction everyone will have fun with. And you may have noticed that a supporting character for the White Court has an asterisk. That’s because I haven’t fully established the idea yet, and I haven’t messaged you about it to discuss it. But I wanted to give you something to work with, in case you didn’t have anything for her to do. If you do decide to take part in this story, we can work it out in PMs.
So I will reciprocate here, in all honesty, and I apologize in advance if it comes across brutally.
You are correct, the rest of us have been friends for a long time, and we’ve been doing this whole Six Universe thing a long time together. And you are the new person, and the outsider. But we didn’t all start at the same time, either. We grew, as a group, one person at a time, and each of us independently went through the experience you are having now. But I only acknowledge that fact to explain this: We do not shun newbies, and we are not excluding you because you are not ‘one of us’.
When I came back from my last absence and found you were here, I thought ‘oh cool, new player! New character! New dynamics! New ideas!’ And so I tried to find ways for my main character (Haleigh) in the main story (six proper) to have something to do with Cass. And we got that little subplot, which I liked and would have continued to explore. And I would have come up with ways to do that with other characters, or been open to any ideas you might have suggested.
And when we moved to the Hellfire (main) storyline, I realized you weren’t going to have anything to do, and I messaged Farrah privately one night. I suggested having you pick up Gia so you’d have a character to RP while we were all at Hellfire, because I felt bad thinking you might be left out.
But girl, hard truth? I put a lot of time and effort and research into creating Gia, and I feel like you are just all over the place with her. I don’t know if Farrah and I didn’t adequately convey the plan with her or if you just don’t want to play her or what, but it’s very frustrating for me. And to read what you just wrote, about how you felt ostracized and didn’t like the direction of your characters, it’s all the more frustrating, because you COULD have messaged me.
I don’t know if you realize this, but the rest of us do that on a regular basis. I bounce almost all my ideas off at least one other person in the group. I usually talk to the writer who would be most affected by what I’m trying to do. I don’t want to torpedo everyone else just to get my way for my characters. There’s a lot of things we do where only one or two people know what is coming, and the rest of us just react. That keeps it fun and adventurous. But a little coordinating goes a long way.
I will give you an example. In the Hellfire (alternate) story, I did a backstory reveal for Haleigh to flesh out her relationship with Malice. I wanted to explore how things might be different if Haleigh had been raised by Malice all along. And I also wanted a subtle Black Widow nod somewhere, So the reveal with the blackmail and sleeping with various Hellfire father figures came about. But BEFORE I posted that, I messaged Sam and Brandon. They were both going to be affected by the reveal from a writer stand point.
So they got a sneak peak at the reveal, essentially, but more importantly, I respected their individual veto power. I had already decided that Zach’s dad was involved, but before I included the rest, I asked Sam and Brandon if it was cool with them. Brandon got a chance to veto Cameron’s dad from the group (since it conflicts with what he wants for his backstory), but approved Ben’s dad for the plot. Sam Approved Stavros and got a chance to adapt her own characters ahead of time, which helped inform her on how to play Ava off Haleigh in their scenes.
But Clara didn’t know ahead of time, so the reaction we get from Alek is totally organic. And You only knew that Haleigh was going to give Gia more info, so Gia’s response is also natural. I didn’t tell you all the details beforehand because Count Nefaria is still in my character Rolodex, so to speak. I may still bring him on Panel at some point. But it’s still cool because I personally have no idea how Gia or Alek will react, which makes it fun for me too.
And then right after that you were like ‘well I got an idea’ and then posted that gang rape reveal. And the rest of us were like “what the fuck??”, because a reveal like that fundamentally altered the backstory of the entire club, and not a single one of us was consulted by you. It would have made a lot of characters complicit in the ordeal, and nobody got to veto it. So I don’t want to speak for others, but I know I wasn’t the only one frustrated by that.
And I was doubly dismayed because you did that on the heels of something I had just revealed with Haleigh, and that was some serious upstaging, it felt like. Haleigh’s reveal is supposed to be disturbing but it’s not just shock value. It was multi-purpose for character development and themes and also established Haleigh/Zach dynamic for the alternate timeline.
If you’re still reading, bless your heart. There’s more and I promise I’m trying to be succinct.
Sometimes your characters come across as combative without cause. Like Cass and Gia in the beginning just hated everyone. Every interaction was overly antagonistic, and they were actively against the new order. That’s fine, except everyone else will react to that negatively. If you’d bounced that idea off someone, we could’ve pointed out the issues Gia and Cass would both face.
Please understand that if the characters don’t get along, that doesn’t mean we don’t get along. Some characters will gravitate towards each other, while others are natural foils or opponents. I specifically create characters for contrast. Don’t take it personally if your character gets opposed or argued with or insulted. It is NOT Player versus Player. It’s character versus character. Sometimes a discussion doesn’t go the way you expect. It happens for me all the time, and it’s usually for the better in the long run.
Also, there’s a slow burn, and then there’s an explosion. Both are good in their own merit. Every scene doesn’t need to be a shouting match or a fist fight. Every clash doesn’t need to be a victory. Character development is an ongoing process. Interactions must be give and take. Take Haleigh and Cameron for example. You think I went into the story knowing they would end up here? Nope. The existence of Elena and Carolina was a complete surprise to me. You think we planned the Haleigh/Alek stuff? Nope. We put the characters in scenes together, and they organically arrived where they are.
You are still learning how to RP with us and that’s okay. We can work with that. But you have to work with us. Bounce your ideas off of others before you post them. We are not trying to control what you do. But if you want to be part of the group, start being part of the group!
If you refer back to my post about the next arc, you’ll see I left blanks for all the characters that don’t belong to me. That’s so everyone else can contribute and we can work together to come up with a direction everyone will have fun with. And you may have noticed that a supporting character for the White Court has an asterisk. That’s because I haven’t fully established the idea yet, and I haven’t messaged you about it to discuss it. But I wanted to give you something to work with, in case you didn’t have anything for her to do. If you do decide to take part in this story, we can work it out in PMs.
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I'll make my voice on this matter quick because Lexi pretty much expressed everything that I feel in regards to what's been going on, Dee. But yes, we have all been RPing together since we were teenagers and have definitely found a finesse when it comes to creating plots with our characters. But we are able to do this because we have multiple pages of PMs working out details and asking questions and figuring things out behind the scenes. Not everything is planned out, but parts that involve other characters, their storylines, backstories, or anything that could potentially change the entire route of our current storyline, yes, we discuss it.
You said you didn't enjoy the prior storyline and didn't think it was a success....that sucks and i'm sorry you feel that way, but personally I found it to be incredibly fun and successful. So if you decide you want to continue this storyline with us, then more communication is key. Lexi said it perfectly. It's not player verses player, it's character verses character. Not every character will get along, and not every suggestion that you might have will be welcomed. But it's nothing personal, so you need to stop taking it that way.
Now, as for the breakdown that you made of Lex, honestly...I need to brush up on the storyline because it's been a minute lol. I definitely want to get back into it, because like I said I had a blast last time. But I need to skim through a bit and refresh my memory because we had a lot of shit going on lol.
Question though, I thought that we were going to continue the next part of the story with the vacations as a bit of 'downtime' before we got into the next major part of the story? Are we still planning on doing this?
You said you didn't enjoy the prior storyline and didn't think it was a success....that sucks and i'm sorry you feel that way, but personally I found it to be incredibly fun and successful. So if you decide you want to continue this storyline with us, then more communication is key. Lexi said it perfectly. It's not player verses player, it's character verses character. Not every character will get along, and not every suggestion that you might have will be welcomed. But it's nothing personal, so you need to stop taking it that way.
Now, as for the breakdown that you made of Lex, honestly...I need to brush up on the storyline because it's been a minute lol. I definitely want to get back into it, because like I said I had a blast last time. But I need to skim through a bit and refresh my memory because we had a lot of shit going on lol.
Question though, I thought that we were going to continue the next part of the story with the vacations as a bit of 'downtime' before we got into the next major part of the story? Are we still planning on doing this?
I was thinking we would first wrap the current arc up, have the Europeans exit and let the dust settle.
I do remember discussing the vacations and I’m totally down for that. There are some characters that won’t be vacating though I imagine, so that’s kind of why I threw some kind of framework up there. I know y’all had other things cooking, like Kelly/Stavros, and Elena bringing Carolina, etc. I’ve also got ideas so once everyone decides if they’re in, I’ll be pming some of you with relevant questions.
ETA: I adjusted the initial post to add in vacations for the few I remembered were planning that. Let me know when it’s confirmed and I’ll continued to edit the frame to keep the info in one post.
I do remember discussing the vacations and I’m totally down for that. There are some characters that won’t be vacating though I imagine, so that’s kind of why I threw some kind of framework up there. I know y’all had other things cooking, like Kelly/Stavros, and Elena bringing Carolina, etc. I’ve also got ideas so once everyone decides if they’re in, I’ll be pming some of you with relevant questions.
ETA: I adjusted the initial post to add in vacations for the few I remembered were planning that. Let me know when it’s confirmed and I’ll continued to edit the frame to keep the info in one post.
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Screen Legend
Legendary
Sorry for the late reply!!! Lexi, thank you for replying and I truly appreciate it because I did take some time to really mull over what you were saying and really meditate on it (I even took screen shots of it on my phone for references).
I want to make it clear: I did not feel like this at all during the mainstream storylines. I do not still feel like this. When I refer to ‘back then’, I am referring to the first story arc of Blood Borne. I mainly brought this up because I needed to reassure myself that this was a HUGE misunderstanding on my part and I also needed to reassure myself that I CAN go to any one of you because I do NOT want to be back in that place again. Seriously, I was in a BAD place. I had so much anxiety and stress over it that I literally wore myself out. That had NOTHING to do with any of you but rather what was twisting around in my own mind. I also apologize in advance because I’m sure that I will be repeating this again.
Well, it kind of did, but don’t feel bad at all! It really was a bitter pill to swallow but I definitely needed to hear it, just like you all needed to hear my feelings so that there are absolutely NO misunderstandings between us. It’s ALL good.
LEXI! Oh, my dear girl, why didn’t you say anything?! Of all the times I PM’d you regarding Gia, why didn’t you just come out and say, “Girl, you’re being weird with Gia. Let’s talk this out.” I mean, to me, anyway, I just figured that you’d PM me if you weren’t pleased with how I was portraying her! Oh my gosh, I feel so embarrassed! I did not mean to disrepect you at all! *face palm*
Yes, and that’s is something that I need to learn. That is an on-going process with me. I struggle with that a LOT because even though I come up with some ideas, I also don’t want to give away ALL my secrets you know? I still have to find that balance, but until I do, I will try to bounce some ideas off of someone. Speaking of balance, that brings me to my next point...
We don’t need to rehash this. This is NOT one of my proudest moments. In fact, when I realized what I did, and that I disrespected and dishonoured you, failed you as both a teammate and a friend, I wanted to DIE. I do not take things like that lightly. It wasn’t a mistake or even a screw up; it was a major FUCK UP on my part and I can not and will not stop apologizing to you enough. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!
This is where the balance comes into play again. As I mentioned to you in my PM I sent shortly afterward, I did go dark with that post. WAY too dark. I still need to find that balance of light/darkness and I haven’t quite found it yet.
Yeah, I can see what you’re saying. For what it’s worth, though, Gia was just out for revenge and Cass? Cass wasn’t against the new order per se, but she WAS goading Gia a lot because she wanted to portray her as the traitor that she had been. Also, Cass was in a tailspin. She lost the love of her life AND her best friend whom she had thought of as her sister and she blamed Kelly for it but Kelly wasn’t there for her to take her anger out on so...yeah. Basically Cass hadn’t yet learned how to deal with friendships ending while the people are still alive, if that makes sense. She didn’t care about anyone until she connected with both Ben and Amanda.
Yeah, I get that. Okay, I usually don’t do this because I don’t like to involve people into my personal drama. To be quite honest, I am NOT blaming you guys for ANYTHING. Back when Blood Borne was first starting, I was mourning the loss of some friendships in my offline life. So I came to this place as an escape, only it really wasn’t for me because of what my characters were going through. So basically everything just exacerbated in my mind. Brandon, bless his heart, was the recipient of some very freaked out PMs from me (I’m so sorry, B!). As I said, I was in a really bad place back then – mentally, emotionally, spiritually – that the anxiety and stress from it all (not just from the game) literally wore me out. Things are better now, thankfully; I still can’t guarantee that I won’t feel like that, though, but I now know that I can come to any one of you if I need help or if I’m struggling with something.
After that debacle of epic proportions – seriously, Lexi, I can’t apologize enough – I now have a post it taped to my desk beside my laptop saying, “THINK before you post!” Hopefully that will help.
Sam, THANK YOU. I really appreciate your words because it gives my feelings validation while at the same time saying that it wasn’t at all personal. Your words as well, Lexi.
This is good, guys. This is really good. I’m glad that I am now in the presence of mind to bring this up before we go on because honest to God, I truly was in a very bad place and I was ready to leave you all high and dry. I really was. It was awful, especially since I care so much about you all.
I DO want to continue the game with you. I just wanted to let you know how I felt and also to clear up any and all misunderstandings I had before we go on.
Lexi, girl, give me all you have on Gia because if I have been playing her wrong all this time, and it sounds like I have been, I want to correct it ASAP.
I want to make it clear: I did not feel like this at all during the mainstream storylines. I do not still feel like this. When I refer to ‘back then’, I am referring to the first story arc of Blood Borne. I mainly brought this up because I needed to reassure myself that this was a HUGE misunderstanding on my part and I also needed to reassure myself that I CAN go to any one of you because I do NOT want to be back in that place again. Seriously, I was in a BAD place. I had so much anxiety and stress over it that I literally wore myself out. That had NOTHING to do with any of you but rather what was twisting around in my own mind. I also apologize in advance because I’m sure that I will be repeating this again.
Black Widow said:
Well, it kind of did, but don’t feel bad at all! It really was a bitter pill to swallow but I definitely needed to hear it, just like you all needed to hear my feelings so that there are absolutely NO misunderstandings between us. It’s ALL good.
Black Widow said:
LEXI! Oh, my dear girl, why didn’t you say anything?! Of all the times I PM’d you regarding Gia, why didn’t you just come out and say, “Girl, you’re being weird with Gia. Let’s talk this out.” I mean, to me, anyway, I just figured that you’d PM me if you weren’t pleased with how I was portraying her! Oh my gosh, I feel so embarrassed! I did not mean to disrepect you at all! *face palm*
Black Widow said:
Yes, and that’s is something that I need to learn. That is an on-going process with me. I struggle with that a LOT because even though I come up with some ideas, I also don’t want to give away ALL my secrets you know? I still have to find that balance, but until I do, I will try to bounce some ideas off of someone. Speaking of balance, that brings me to my next point...
Black Widow said:
We don’t need to rehash this. This is NOT one of my proudest moments. In fact, when I realized what I did, and that I disrespected and dishonoured you, failed you as both a teammate and a friend, I wanted to DIE. I do not take things like that lightly. It wasn’t a mistake or even a screw up; it was a major FUCK UP on my part and I can not and will not stop apologizing to you enough. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!
This is where the balance comes into play again. As I mentioned to you in my PM I sent shortly afterward, I did go dark with that post. WAY too dark. I still need to find that balance of light/darkness and I haven’t quite found it yet.
Black Widow said:
Yeah, I can see what you’re saying. For what it’s worth, though, Gia was just out for revenge and Cass? Cass wasn’t against the new order per se, but she WAS goading Gia a lot because she wanted to portray her as the traitor that she had been. Also, Cass was in a tailspin. She lost the love of her life AND her best friend whom she had thought of as her sister and she blamed Kelly for it but Kelly wasn’t there for her to take her anger out on so...yeah. Basically Cass hadn’t yet learned how to deal with friendships ending while the people are still alive, if that makes sense. She didn’t care about anyone until she connected with both Ben and Amanda.
Black Widow said:
Yeah, I get that. Okay, I usually don’t do this because I don’t like to involve people into my personal drama. To be quite honest, I am NOT blaming you guys for ANYTHING. Back when Blood Borne was first starting, I was mourning the loss of some friendships in my offline life. So I came to this place as an escape, only it really wasn’t for me because of what my characters were going through. So basically everything just exacerbated in my mind. Brandon, bless his heart, was the recipient of some very freaked out PMs from me (I’m so sorry, B!). As I said, I was in a really bad place back then – mentally, emotionally, spiritually – that the anxiety and stress from it all (not just from the game) literally wore me out. Things are better now, thankfully; I still can’t guarantee that I won’t feel like that, though, but I now know that I can come to any one of you if I need help or if I’m struggling with something.
Black Widow said:
After that debacle of epic proportions – seriously, Lexi, I can’t apologize enough – I now have a post it taped to my desk beside my laptop saying, “THINK before you post!” Hopefully that will help.
Persephone said:
Sam, THANK YOU. I really appreciate your words because it gives my feelings validation while at the same time saying that it wasn’t at all personal. Your words as well, Lexi.
This is good, guys. This is really good. I’m glad that I am now in the presence of mind to bring this up before we go on because honest to God, I truly was in a very bad place and I was ready to leave you all high and dry. I really was. It was awful, especially since I care so much about you all.
I DO want to continue the game with you. I just wanted to let you know how I felt and also to clear up any and all misunderstandings I had before we go on.
Lexi, girl, give me all you have on Gia because if I have been playing her wrong all this time, and it sounds like I have been, I want to correct it ASAP.
Well, I’m sorry to hear that. This is not supposed to add stress to our lives, it’s supposed to be fun. If it isn’t, speak up. If you’ve got writers block or you don’t know what to do next, shoutbox us or pm someone and we’ll help. We’re not going to know otherwise.
I apologize if I embarrassed you, that’s not what I wanted to do, I just figured if we were going to be honest we might as well get everything on the table. I didn’t say anything before because (a) I don’t want to dictate what you write and (b) I figured you were going somewhere with it. If you didn’t want to play Gia and were trying to get her 86’d in the Hellfire (alternate) story, then her hostility made sense. I half expected Cass to approach Haleigh and double cross Gia.
It’s not that you’re playing her all wrong. Sometimes she just seems capricious and/or rudderless. Do you have Gia’s bio for reference? I might have an old draft saved that I can send you, along with some bullet points. And if you’re up for it, let’s discuss Gia’s next arc through PM. Just some broad strokes, nothing too detailed or constricting, and we can leave it opened ended so you still have some freedom. I’ve got an idea for a subplot with her that you may enjoy. If you’ve got a plan yourself that’s cool too, bounce it off me and I might be able to give you more insight on what to expect.
I didn’t bring it up to make you feel guilty again. Apologies accepted, water under the bridge. The reason I mentioned it was because I was trying to illustrate the difference between the way we as a group usually go about coordinating for a reveal, and the way you did. Again, not to guilt trip you, but just to give you some guidance.
This kind of stuff is absolutely fine. I’m not suggesting you can’t stray from the party line or that your characters cannot oppose any of ours. What I’m saying is that every thing you post will have consequences in the storyline. It’s not personal, it’s just reality. If one of my characters antagonizes another, there will be a reckoning. The same goes for Brandon, Sam and Clara alike.
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And I need that guidance because sometimes I can get more than a little engrossed in what I'm writing and get so into it that I literally forget everything and everyone else around me. And, in a weird way, I'm kind of glad that it happened because now it will always be in the forefront of my mind whever I write as a reminder.
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I don't know if we'll be starting anything up any time soon, but just in case, I'll be leaving for the cottage on Wednesday and I'll be back sometime next week. I won't have access to wifi unfortunately so everything that involves me in any way will just have to wait until I get home.
I'm going to lay my cards on the table as well. No one benefits from having sunshine blown up their ass here.
First, De, you need to recognize that a big part of the reason you haven't gelled into the group (and you frankly should have by now) is that you disappear. And when you're here you barely post. What you have going on online or offline is neither here nor there - it doesn't matter for the purpose of this discussion. We are constantly forced to work around your characters because in the middle of something you're nowhere to be found. You are just not at the level of posting needed to really hone your character. And it is incredibly difficult to include you in storylines of any substance because we cannot depend on you to be around.
And second. The people in this group - especially Brandon and Lexi - have time and time again gone out of their way to include you and your characters (when they didn't have to) and to try and help you improve. And nine times out of ten, you came back to all their suggestions and helpful hints with "I'll just do what I want anyway, I don't need any help". You are not the strongest writer here. Neither am I. That's okay. But the people here have been doing this a long time, and they have knowledge to impart to you. But since you have constantly ignored them, why should they keep bothering? You need to take advice and see how things are done at this level. This isn't a Buffy RPG. I wasn't here from the beginning, and I made posts that sucked. And they told me they sucked and were over the top, and I changed what I was doing. I watched what they did. I took their advice. I didn't just keep doing the same thing over and over because that's what I wanted to do.
Third. You need to leave your passive aggressive comments at the door. You are not twelve years old and it's not cool. None of us needs you to kiss our asses. And especially we don't need digs at us thrown in while you do it.
I'm not trying to be mean to you, but at some point you have to take actual responsibility for yourself and not just put the fact that you aren't liking the storyline on the rest of us. As someone who has been here every day watching it? Brandon, Sam, and Lexi have spent HUGE amounts of time trying to include you and get you up to speed, and you have basically thrown their efforts into the garbage.
The bottom line is: you don't need to be the best writer to be part of this group, but you have to make an effort and cannot expect everyone to kow tow to you or your characters. The rest of us should not have to walk on eggshells around you. This experience is what you make of it.
As for the storyline: I think we were going to have the Elena stuff happen to give those that stay behind something to do while Ava/John and Ashley/Savage were out of town.
First, De, you need to recognize that a big part of the reason you haven't gelled into the group (and you frankly should have by now) is that you disappear. And when you're here you barely post. What you have going on online or offline is neither here nor there - it doesn't matter for the purpose of this discussion. We are constantly forced to work around your characters because in the middle of something you're nowhere to be found. You are just not at the level of posting needed to really hone your character. And it is incredibly difficult to include you in storylines of any substance because we cannot depend on you to be around.
And second. The people in this group - especially Brandon and Lexi - have time and time again gone out of their way to include you and your characters (when they didn't have to) and to try and help you improve. And nine times out of ten, you came back to all their suggestions and helpful hints with "I'll just do what I want anyway, I don't need any help". You are not the strongest writer here. Neither am I. That's okay. But the people here have been doing this a long time, and they have knowledge to impart to you. But since you have constantly ignored them, why should they keep bothering? You need to take advice and see how things are done at this level. This isn't a Buffy RPG. I wasn't here from the beginning, and I made posts that sucked. And they told me they sucked and were over the top, and I changed what I was doing. I watched what they did. I took their advice. I didn't just keep doing the same thing over and over because that's what I wanted to do.
Third. You need to leave your passive aggressive comments at the door. You are not twelve years old and it's not cool. None of us needs you to kiss our asses. And especially we don't need digs at us thrown in while you do it.
I'm not trying to be mean to you, but at some point you have to take actual responsibility for yourself and not just put the fact that you aren't liking the storyline on the rest of us. As someone who has been here every day watching it? Brandon, Sam, and Lexi have spent HUGE amounts of time trying to include you and get you up to speed, and you have basically thrown their efforts into the garbage.
The bottom line is: you don't need to be the best writer to be part of this group, but you have to make an effort and cannot expect everyone to kow tow to you or your characters. The rest of us should not have to walk on eggshells around you. This experience is what you make of it.
As for the storyline: I think we were going to have the Elena stuff happen to give those that stay behind something to do while Ava/John and Ashley/Savage were out of town.
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Thank you for your honesty, Clara.
I don’t know how to defend myself with regards to your comments. I don’t know if I even WANT to defend myself. I could keep on apologizing, but to be quite frank, I’m sick of apologizing and I’m sure that people are sick of hearing them. I also don’t want to get into a colossal argument on here about it.
I will say one thing though: if you see me do the same thing over and over and over, chances are really great that I actually have no idea that I’m even doing it. I don’t even realize it. Case in point: when pointed out to me via PM that I was [unintentionally] mimicking other peoples’ characters. I had no idea that I was even doing it. NO IDEA.
Another thing: since I have done a shitty job of being a team player, that’s on me and of COURSE I take FULL responsibility for it. No defenses, no justifications, no excuses, and no reasons.
I don’t know how to defend myself with regards to your comments. I don’t know if I even WANT to defend myself. I could keep on apologizing, but to be quite frank, I’m sick of apologizing and I’m sure that people are sick of hearing them. I also don’t want to get into a colossal argument on here about it.
I will say one thing though: if you see me do the same thing over and over and over, chances are really great that I actually have no idea that I’m even doing it. I don’t even realize it. Case in point: when pointed out to me via PM that I was [unintentionally] mimicking other peoples’ characters. I had no idea that I was even doing it. NO IDEA.
Another thing: since I have done a shitty job of being a team player, that’s on me and of COURSE I take FULL responsibility for it. No defenses, no justifications, no excuses, and no reasons.
Clara Oswald said:
Yes, I was thinking that too. Many of the club members will be in residence still. I haven’t yet decided if I want Jack/Heidi to sail away as well for their stuff or not. Let me know If you want Jack around for anything in particular, or if you’d rather give Alek a chance to bond with Calder instead. I’ll be pming you soon, once I confirm some other details.
What’s the vote on Hellfire Europeans? Are we keeping them on Panel or shelving them? I’m up for either with the caveat that my writing pace will be much slower and somewhat sporadic compared to before. I won’t be able to do multiple posts on trip days (I may not do any on a short overnight), but when I’m off I can crank out a few.
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I don't need Jack to be around, but happy to have some guy bonding for Alek-Jack-Calder. Up to you.
Personally I think it will be confusing/too much to try and do a European and American storyline at once, and we have a good bit teed up for America yet. But I will do it if people want to.
We don't need you to apologize, we need you to decide if you're going to come to work or if you're out.
Personally I think it will be confusing/too much to try and do a European and American storyline at once, and we have a good bit teed up for America yet. But I will do it if people want to.
We don't need you to apologize, we need you to decide if you're going to come to work or if you're out.
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Personally I don't think I can juggle 2 storylines at once. I'd rather focus on America since that's where we have built a really solid base. I know before I wanted to shelf Brienne for a little bit, however with the opportunity to bring her back because of Zach having strong ties to the American White court. I definitely still want to do that, especially now, because I'd like to focus and rebuild my confidence in RPing with Ava since she's my main character. With that said, I am completely okay with playing Brienne to conclude the remainder of the weekend so we can wrap everything up!
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